A bit of Context for Good Measure

This Blogging thing is daunting, isn't it?

It's something that I've wanted to do for an extremely long time, but haven't known where to start. 

I have found myself asking a multitude of questions prior to penning this important first post; what to write about, when to write about it and, undoubtedly most importantly, will anyone be interested in what I have to say?

After quashing those unhelpful thoughts, it became clear that there was only one thing I should be writing about. 

In December 2013, I was the biggest I had ever been. After moving to the South West of England from my hometown Swansea in 2010, (and two years of heavy drinking that inevitably ensued at university,) my father died. He was 59, and the process was long, drawn out and devastating. Being away from my family and traveling back to visit him in hospital was the most difficult eight months of my life, and his death on July 4th 2012, (a mere 19 days before his 60th birthday) hit my family hard. The situation was not helped by the fact that just a month later I had to leave my family once more to return to university to continue studying.

I get what you're thinking. Jeez! This blog is a bit heavy, isn't it?

Well, the only reason I'm telling you this is to put my story in to context. My fathers death is the reason I turned to food. Everyone has their reasons, and it is important to understand yours before you can change the unhealthy association. I have loved to cook since the day I realised I could, and the sadness that engulfed me led to me cooking massive portions of (what I like to call) Belly Hug Food. I was treating my boyfriend and I to army sized pasta dishes, colossal pastry pies and lashings of processed food snacking because they made me feel better. I was a typical comfort eater, taking solace in carbs and living each day by looking forward to dessert. It was a situation too many of us find ourselves in; the endless cycle of feeling sad- eating -looking in the mirror -feeling sad -eating. Sooner or later, for the sake of my health, something had to give.

The day after my 22nd Birthday was the day I decided to change.

I was nursing a hangover, and eating a sharer bag of sweet chilli Walker's Sensations, whilst uploading the pictures of my big birthday bash the night before. My night had been somewhat tarnished by the fact that, for the first time in my conscious memory, I had found myself with no option but to purchase a size 16 dress. My birthday outfit shopping trip had seen me come away with a strapless, plain black, knee length dress, having found nothing else that looked good in the horrific all-the-way-around mirrors. Up until this particular shopping trip, I was able to kid myself that I could still slip in to a UK size 14, but after much struggle in River Island's dressing room I just about managed to jiggle myself into the larger size. I hadn't given the experience too much thought until the aforementioned birthday pictures popped up, large and unforgiving, on my laptop screen. That can't possibly be me, I thought. Just three years earlier, I had been a happy and healthy size 10, without too much effort. I had been a competitive swimmer in my teenage years, and I never had to think about what I was eating or how much exercise I was doing. How was it possible that I had let myself get this big?

Before we continue, it's important for you to see the transformation for yourself. After all, this post is all about context!

18 years old

19 years old

20 years old

21 years old

22 years old

Looking at yourself like this is pretty strange, as although the (five stone) difference is obvious when it is laid out in front of you in an almost straight line, gradually gaining weight is a strange thing.You don't necessarily notice it going on, little by little by little, but instead notice it one day when something shocks you into realisation. For me, it was this picture, staring back at me whilst I nibbled the last few crumbs of my family sized snack:

Alex and I on my 22nd birthday

This picture made me more unhappy than any picture had before. I looked bloated, twice as wide as my partner and a million miles from the woman in my head. At this point in time, it was only 9 months until my graduation, and I couldn't think of anything worse than seeing the pictures of Alex and I the day after the ceremony and feeling the same crushing humiliation. I would want to keep those pictures forever, so something needed to change, pronto! 

My unhappiness is key to my story, as I believe you should be driven by self confidence and happiness above all else. You only get one life and, as I learned from my father, it is far too short to be spent feeling glum. So, in January 2014 I decided to change my life for the better. The only problem was, I still wanted the belly hug food that I so fervently enjoyed. I do not believe in fad diets and quick solutions; 'raw before 4', 'paleo-veganism', 'juice cleanses'...these were never going to be options for me. What hard work, I've always thought. I wanted to change my lifestyle so that I could maintain it forever. I wanted to make it as simple, and as cheap, as I possibly could. Essentially, what I needed to do was relearn how to eat, so that's exactly what I did.

It's been nearly a year, and I can honestly say that I am the most comfortable in my own skin that I have ever been. In total, I have lost over five stone, dropping from 15st (210 lbs) with an obese BMI of 34.9 to 9st 10lb (136 lbs) with a healthy BMI of 22.6! Throughout my journey I have not felt hungry, deprived or unhappy- in fact I'd go as far as to say I did not go on a diet at all. I just did all the seemingly boring things everyone tells you to do: 

• I drastically cut down on- but did not cut out!- carbohydrates.
• I drastically cut down on saturated fat and sugar.
• I made sure that I ate at least five portions of fruit and vegetables a day.
• Instead of getting the bus, or jumping in a taxi, I walked to university and work.
• Lastly, and most importantly, I did not deprive myself anything. If I wanted a biscuit, I had one biscuit, not the entire pack.

It doesn't sound like fun, but it really is. I have learned so many nifty tips and tricks along the way and can't wait to start sharing recipes and stories with you all!

Before I go, it's only right that I share my favourite 'after' shot with you. This picture was taken on the day of my graduation.

Alex and I before my graduation

All I want to do with this blog is help those who are where I was eleven months ago and gain more knowledge from like-minded people. Let's get healthy, and more importantly happy, together!